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10 things about you and drawing.

1 I started drawing at first because my brother was doing so. I'm a very jealous and envious type of person so, if he does, I'll do the same kind of thing (hey, I was 4 years old, okay?). So let's say I started drawing when my hand was skilled enough to hold a pen. (funny to think my bro stopped drawing and is a comic scriptwritter now. If he had continued drawing, perhaps he could draw them, too. )

2 My own world was created then, and from around 7 to 14 years old I was drawing my own little world. This world and characters we had created with my brother. It was when I was drawing for fun, not wanting to draw "good", just draw.

3 At 12 I discovered the marvelous world of manga. And started to get inspired. Mostly, Dragon Ball Z and Sailor Moon. *_* And created... My first Mary-Sue. Hell yeah, I'm not even shameful. My first mental-dream-world was also created at this period.

4 At 14, I discovered another marvelous world : fanzines. And two people made a radical change in my life : Maëva and Aurore. Since Aurore was simply a contact, soon Maëva became a great friend, and still is. She inspired me more I could tell, and perhaps too much in fact. I always admired and respected her, but there was a moment in my life I was awfully jealous, I shamefully confess it now, but it was in my depressive years, see later.

5 I'm a sort of copycat without noticing. I can't do something original. My pictures and chara-designs are always a combination of many different elements I took elsewhere, most of the time. Sometimes I notice it, sometimes not, and it could be at the same time fun and scary (when it causes me problems lol).

6 I love drawing, but I had a problem with my level. I was comparing myself too much with other people. So I coudln't evolve because I was embittered and stressed. Like dear Chibilou said, something as to change in the views you have of your art for your art to change afterwards. It happened for me, it was not long ago. In 2005.

7 In 1998 I participated in a contest held by Aurore Demilly, for BDExpo 98. I gave my best for it, bought watercolor, learned to use watercolor, this in a whole week and did a picture. In my whole life, I could say it is the ONLY picture that I took so much time to do. I had planned everything. I said nothing to my family, wanting to surprise them if I won. It was a contest with categories:  less than 15 years old, and more than 15years old, and as I was 15, I felt like it was my last chance before I'm in the "adult artists category". Let's say it was really important for me. But, there weren't enough stamps on the enveloppe and it returned, 3 days before the end of the deadline. I cried a whole afternoon. It was like I didn't know how to smile or be happy anymore. I can't remember another day I was so destroyed.
I know perhaps it's stupid just for a picture but it can show how much this thing was important for me. I never particpated in a contest like that since. (and at BDEXpo, I was so disguted seeing people in their twenties looking at the less than 15 years old panel pointing :"my picture's here" so happily. Fucking cheating bastards...)

8 I said I was comparing myself a lot with people. I was in a big depressive state for many years because of that and finally somewhat it changed when I started drawing for my pleasure, like when I was young. I don't want to be published or work in the drawing world anymore, so it was like my world and mind opened suddenly. Drawing for me. *_* Don't care about others says, if it is not constructive criticism. So free!!

9 I had the chance and was so happy to participate to the character design of the amateur game Shadow of Life, continuation of Final Fantasy 6, a game I loved so much. One of the big achievments of my life. (lol) When I saw Noë, (who is now published pofessionally) drawing my designs in his style I felt so proud somewhat. He also gave a lot of advice to me.

10 In all my life, drawing made me meet a lot of wonderful people. Most of them are my best friends of now, so I'm happy I started drawing for that reason. It gave me a lot of nice things in my life. Even if my drawings aren't the best and I'm not original enough and lack ideas (for my own taste xD) there's positive things like friendship. I dunno what I would be or what I would do or who my friend would be if I wasn't drawing.

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